The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

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The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Great Leader Sprucenuce on Thu May 10, 2012 3:30 pm


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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Doc on Thu May 10, 2012 3:32 pm

Not as funny as the England thought process one but still, I lol'd a bit...

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Le Samourai on Thu May 10, 2012 3:34 pm

Lol @ "Threaten people with peril if they write them off"

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Schweinaldo06 on Thu May 10, 2012 3:45 pm

@Doc wrote:Not as funny as the England thought process one but still, I lol'd a bit...

Link to the England thought process?

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Doc on Thu May 10, 2012 3:49 pm





All of which were shown by good old Mole...

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by aford92 on Thu May 10, 2012 5:47 pm

That map is amazing. Especially Turkey, made me laugh.

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Grande_Milano on Thu May 10, 2012 6:13 pm

''did england win? yes. think again. no''

loled at that

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by halamadrid2 on Thu May 10, 2012 7:04 pm

Did they play well??? Yes--> Really??? ---> No loool
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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by VivaStPauli on Thu May 10, 2012 10:34 pm

All three hilarious.

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Zealous on Thu May 10, 2012 10:57 pm

Joke is on you. Roberto Martinez is going to be a pundit, I could listen to him tactically analyse a phone book :bow:

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Magricos on Thu May 10, 2012 11:06 pm

Saw it a while back it's ok.

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Zealous on Fri May 11, 2012 1:40 am

Guide for Criticising Roy Hodgon's Squad Selection(football 365):

Captain: if someone who has been captain before, "predictable". If not, "wrong".

Average age of squad over 26: too old, over-reliance on the failed so-called "golden generation".

Average age of squad under 26: inexperienced/ruining our chances for the Olympics (I forget whether we care about this or not).

Goalkeepers:
Joe Hart: obvious choice and deserves no credit.
Rob Green: plays for a championship club. Only selected due to failure to persuade anyone else out of retirement, ergo poor man-management.
Ben Foster: nepotism.

Right back:
Failure to take all of Micah Richards, Glen Johnson, Kyle Walker, Phil Jones and Chris Smalling constitutes a decision, and therefore automatically a risky/wrong one.

Left back:
Ashley Cole: obvious, deserves no credit. If a back-up is selected: unnecessary, waste of a squad place (cf. Stephen Warnock). If not: short-sighted.

Centre back:
Failure to persuade Rio and Terry to play together is poor man-management. Success is "too risky".

Central Midfield:
Gerrard: make reference to Hodgson's time at Liverpool and cast doubt on ability to get a performance out of him.

Lampard: too similar to Gerrard. If not picked, make unflattering AVB comparisons.

Scott Parker: would certainly perform better if 'Arry was manager
Carrick/Barry: boring.

Scholes: if picked, desperate. If not picked, a missed opportunity
Anyone else: an unknown quantity.

Wings:
Joe Cole: if not picked, point out that he has been playing brilliantly in France. If picked, point out that he has been rubbish in France. No-one will bother to check either way.

Ashley Young: if picked, diver that will not fool continental referees, therefore a waste of space. If not picked, point to past goalscoring form and ability to win penalties.

Adam Johnson: if picked, has hardly played for Man City this season. If not picked, has hardly played for Man City this season and would have bought much-needed freshness to the squad.

Walcott: if picked, has only ever performed that one time against Croatia. If not picked, performed that one time against Croatia.

Stewart Downing: if picked, 0 goals 0 assists. If not picked, bemoan lack of natural left-footers in the squad.

Anyone who plays for Swansea: if picked, they play for Swansea, a small club. If not, harshly overlooked.

Strikers:
Rooney: if picked, waste of a squad place. We'll be out after 2 games anyway. If not picked, have "ROO-DICULOUS!!!" headlines on standby.
Andy Carroll: if picked, has been rubbish all season. If not, has been brilliant for the last two games.

Defoe: if picked, has not played all season. If not, gifted finisher, adds freshness to the squad, 'Arry would have picked him.
Crouch: if picked, exposes England's dearth of strikers. If not, think of the wonder-goal.

Sturridge/Welbeck: if picked, inexperienced. If not, robbing the future of English football of valuable tournament experience.

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by donttreadonred on Fri May 11, 2012 2:04 am

@Zealous wrote:Joke is on you. Roberto Martinez is going to be a pundit, I could listen to him tactically analyse a phone book :bow:
@Zealous wrote:Guide for Criticising Roy Hodgon's Squad Selection(football 365):

Captain: if someone who has been captain before, "predictable". If not, "wrong".

Average age of squad over 26: too old, over-reliance on the failed so-called "golden generation".

Average age of squad under 26: inexperienced/ruining our chances for the Olympics (I forget whether we care about this or not).

Goalkeepers:
Joe Hart: obvious choice and deserves no credit.
Rob Green: plays for a championship club. Only selected due to failure to persuade anyone else out of retirement, ergo poor man-management.
Ben Foster: nepotism.

Right back:
Failure to take all of Micah Richards, Glen Johnson, Kyle Walker, Phil Jones and Chris Smalling constitutes a decision, and therefore automatically a risky/wrong one.

Left back:
Ashley Cole: obvious, deserves no credit. If a back-up is selected: unnecessary, waste of a squad place (cf. Stephen Warnock). If not: short-sighted.

Centre back:
Failure to persuade Rio and Terry to play together is poor man-management. Success is "too risky".

Central Midfield:
Gerrard: make reference to Hodgson's time at Liverpool and cast doubt on ability to get a performance out of him.

Lampard: too similar to Gerrard. If not picked, make unflattering AVB comparisons.

Scott Parker: would certainly perform better if 'Arry was manager
Carrick/Barry: boring.

Scholes: if picked, desperate. If not picked, a missed opportunity
Anyone else: an unknown quantity.

Wings:
Joe Cole: if not picked, point out that he has been playing brilliantly in France. If picked, point out that he has been rubbish in France. No-one will bother to check either way.

Ashley Young: if picked, diver that will not fool continental referees, therefore a waste of space. If not picked, point to past goalscoring form and ability to win penalties.

Adam Johnson: if picked, has hardly played for Man City this season. If not picked, has hardly played for Man City this season and would have bought much-needed freshness to the squad.

Walcott: if picked, has only ever performed that one time against Croatia. If not picked, performed that one time against Croatia.

Stewart Downing: if picked, 0 goals 0 assists. If not picked, bemoan lack of natural left-footers in the squad.

Anyone who plays for Swansea: if picked, they play for Swansea, a small club. If not, harshly overlooked.

Strikers:
Rooney: if picked, waste of a squad place. We'll be out after 2 games anyway. If not picked, have "ROO-DICULOUS!!!" headlines on standby.
Andy Carroll: if picked, has been rubbish all season. If not, has been brilliant for the last two games.

Defoe: if picked, has not played all season. If not, gifted finisher, adds freshness to the squad, 'Arry would have picked him.
Crouch: if picked, exposes England's dearth of strikers. If not, think of the wonder-goal.

Sturridge/Welbeck: if picked, inexperienced. If not, robbing the future of English football of valuable tournament experience.
:bow:

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Forza on Fri May 11, 2012 2:50 am

I didn't know that the average TV pundit had a thought process.
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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by lenear1030 on Fri May 11, 2012 3:40 am

@Zealous wrote:Joke is on you. Roberto Martinez is going to be a pundit, I could listen to him tactically analyse a phone book :bow:


He was awesome during WC2010

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by CBarca on Fri May 11, 2012 4:45 am

Not Scandinavian but lol'd at "Are they Scandinavian?" --> "Yes" --> "Tell us how well-organized they are."

And Roberto Martinez analysis is absolute GOAT :bow:

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Be/\/ceCALI on Fri May 11, 2012 5:04 am

@Doc wrote:

Hungary is huuuuuge!!

:bow: :bow: the artist of this masterpiece
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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Forza on Fri May 11, 2012 5:08 am

@Be/\/ceCALI wrote:
@Doc wrote:

Hungary is huuuuuge!!

:bow: :bow: the artist of this masterpiece

I believe the yellow country where Hungary is written is actually Ukraine and Hungary is the light green country that the arrow points to.
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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Be/\/ceCALI on Fri May 11, 2012 5:53 am

:vagi: :vagi: :vagi:

:facepalm:

ty

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by fatman123 on Fri May 11, 2012 7:14 am

Turkey-not even really European, dont know how they got into UEFA, probably Capello's fault

Croatia-beat us at the sport we invented, the nerve!

Italy-modern proponents inclue stoke city

:bow:

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by free_cat on Fri May 11, 2012 8:02 am

Roy Hogson is the manager of England???

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by fatman123 on Fri May 11, 2012 8:04 am

@free_cat wrote:Roy Hogson is the manager of England???

yep, they got rid of that slimy foreginer Capello! he didnt play 4-4-2 and he didnt show emotion on the touchline! he didnt know the English way to play football!

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Forza on Fri May 11, 2012 8:07 am

@fatman123 wrote:
@free_cat wrote:Roy Hogson is the manager of England???

yep, they got rid of that slimy foreginer Capello! he didnt play 4-4-2 and he didnt show emotion on the touchline! he didnt know the English way to play football!
I've got a feeling that a trophy winning foreigner will be coming soon. Either that or the FA will realise that hell is frozen over.
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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by free_cat on Fri May 11, 2012 8:17 am

Incredible. Capello leaves, and they hire the recent failure of Ray Hogson.

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Re: The Average TV Pundit Euro 2012 thought process

Post by Forza on Fri May 11, 2012 8:19 am

Name an English coach that hasn't failed recently?

...

...

...

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