Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

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Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Arquitescu on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:33 pm

-Yes Barca's midfield was completely nullified resulting in little transition to the forwards & Messi. But does that matter? No! Because Cristian Tello:

-Is so fast that Polar coordinates are rendered obsolete in searching for vectors to suit and calculate Tellolity.
- Is so fast that HyperVelocity standard will need a quick refurbishment, but won't since Tello will already set back the Minkowski spacetime unit back to 1906. Thus is born HyperTellocity
-Is so fast that he will blow away the collagen adhesives that still hold Osram's withered face while running down the sidelines.
-Is so fast that he will have Javi question on why he is as static as an island tortoise, impeding his play.
-Is so fast that Theo Walcott will be made to look slower than Antonio Cassano without a daily dose of Nutella
-Is so fast that he will actually look 1/3 as fast as Ignazio Abate.

So what we have learned is, Pace is > than you. But more important, Cristian Tello. Why he wasn't subbed on was beyond me as the result would have been 1-5 to Barca. Its ok considering his ability to break space time continum and create a worm hole through his pace will have Badstuber thankful that he isn't injured.

Tactics?
Supply to the forwards?
Passing? pfft...

He is the solution to overcome the 4-0.


"I'm so fast that by the time you are done reading this I have figured out Fermat's last theorem while downing 50 kebabs without grease to help swallowing efficiency."



Last edited by Arquitecto on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:39 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Lex on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:34 pm

Tie is done and dusted, Arq lol

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by CBarca on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:35 pm

It's a joke Lex.

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Tomwin Lannister on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:36 pm

rofl

The general consensus (Which is NOT related in any way, shape or form to the fact that pace on FIFA is the single most important aspect in football Wink )
Is that Barca would have been a different beast had they used Tello and allowed him to make dem pacey runs.

I think we need to take the various CL's from Barca and the 2006 World cup off of Italy because they had almost no pacey players and had no right winning trophies without them.

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Swanhends on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:37 pm

MANITA TIMEEEE

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Great Leader Sprucenuce on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:37 pm

Arq rofl :bow:

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by RealGunner on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:37 pm

lmao Arq
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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Kaladin on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:37 pm

Arq rofl rofl

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Lex on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:38 pm

@CBarca wrote:It's a joke Lex.


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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Pedram on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:39 pm

rofl

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by FalcaoPunch on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:40 pm

Lol the fact that it's Tello.
Tello will be the key to defeating Bayern.... please
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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by El Gunner on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:42 pm

I know this thread's a joke... But if there are some Barca fans out there who actually think they can still go through to the final. This smile would be all I could manage Laughing

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by julias on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:43 pm

Tello = Distance/Time :coffee:

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Tomwin Lannister on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:43 pm

Nah people think that he could change the game because he's fast. Arq's making fun of that idea rofl

That idea has mostly been brought on by FIFA. No

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Great Leader Sprucenuce on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:43 pm

@FalcaoPunch wrote:Lol the fact that it's Tello.
Tello will be the key to defeating Bayern.... please

Its referring to comments in chat....

People were saying Barca need to bring on Villa or Tello when the midfield couldn't even supply the front line and the responses were but Tello has pace.

Like that means f*ck all if the midfield can't supply him with the ball Laughing

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Lex on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:43 pm

HE'LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US :bow:


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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Tomwin Lannister on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:44 pm

Is Tello the best winger of his generation?


His pace stats on FIFA suggest that he might be.

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Luke Harper wrote:We are the ones... the ones that you've been told about. And WE... are walking upright.

Studying about those good ol' days and who shall wear, the starry crown gooood lawd. Show me the waaaaay.

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Kaladin on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:45 pm

AbraKebabra Alacalamb wrote:Nah people think that he could change the game because he's fast. Arq's making fun of that idea rofl

That idea has mostly been brought on by FIFA. No

Username for Tello:

69xXFl45hT3llo69b1tch3zXx69

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by julias on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:47 pm

Force = mass x Tello

Tello can generate the force and thus Barca will go through :bow:

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Tomwin Lannister on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:47 pm

rofl


69xXIITQIIFl45hT3llo69b1tch3zIITQIIXx69

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Luke Harper wrote:We are the ones... the ones that you've been told about. And WE... are walking upright.

Studying about those good ol' days and who shall wear, the starry crown gooood lawd. Show me the waaaaay.

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Kaladin on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:49 pm

AbraKebabra Alacalamb wrote:rofl


69xXIITQIIFl45hT3llo69b1tch3zIITQIIXx69

WIN rofl rofl rofl

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Pedram on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:50 pm

@julias wrote:Force = mass x Tello

Tello can generate the force and thus Barca will go through :bow:

Laughing
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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by M99 on Tue Apr 23, 2013 11:00 pm

Tellol

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by BarrileteCosmico on Wed Apr 24, 2013 1:12 am

Take a hike Arq. First of all Tello is no longer only speed and finishing, his link up play has improved this season and last time I checked he had almost as many assists as goals to prove for it. Second off, when you're losing 2-0, none of your strikers look like scoring and you desperately need an away goal to salvage the date it is perfectly reasonable to ask for some changes in that department. Not that Pedro and Alexis were particularly awful, they had their hands full (especially Alexis with liAlbability) but Tello has proved that he is a remarkably effective player who has been able to have a positive effect even with his more limited skill set. The fact that he was not in the bench is an absolute disgrace.

Ditto Villa but even more.

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Re: Can Cristian "Flash" Tello Lead Barcelona's Remontada v Bayern at Camp Nou?

Post by Zealous on Wed Apr 24, 2013 1:16 am

Honestly he would have been better than Alexis "Jesus Wept" Sanchez.

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