Pep Guardiola's adventures in Manchester City

ES wrote:

BarrileteCosmico wrote:He was let down by his players today

Let down by his players

The guy went in and copied Conte's 3-4-3 this match lmao, got badly exposed

What a pretender

M99 wrote:Hello everyone and welcome to the main event of the 5th annual GL Survivor Series. We have had an incredible night so far where Freeza beat Unique in a hellacious TLC match to win the $500000 briefcase of Lidl monthly salary. We are cutting to ring announcer Lucifer Garcia to introduce the two teams.

Lucifer Garcia: THIS IS A 5 ON 5 ELIMINATION TAG TEAM MATCH.

Introducing first, Great Leader Sprucenuce, CBarca, Hapless Hans, free cat and Casciavit, TEAAAAAMMMMMM PEP. (Crowd boos)

And the opposing team, ES, urbanRoots, McAgger, Gil and Lord Awesome, TEAMMMMM ANTI PEP. (Crowd cheers)

And the special guest referee for this match, RealGunner! (Crowd cheers)

*bell rings*

WE ARE OFFICIALLY UNDERWAY. Starting of is Team Pep captain Casciavit with Lord Awesome.

*Casciavit immediately hits a Suso Superkick and pins Lord Awesome*

Lucifer Garcia: LORD AWESOME HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.

BAH GAWD TEAM PEP HAS ALREADY GOT AN ELIMINATION. ITS 5 ON 4.

*Team captain ES reluctant to fight his friend sends in McAgger. Back and forth action between McAgger and Cas. Tags are traded in until we end up with urbanRoots and free cat. Urban hits the Sanchez Dive from the top rope but Free Cat counters it with the 80 Million Flop. 1..2..Gil breaks up the pin. All hell breaks loose as everyone starts to brawl, Team Pep gets the upper hand with the 5 on 4 advantage. Free cat tries to put down for Urban for good with the patented GermanyWonWorldCupBecauseOfPep piledriver but ES hits a BaccaStabber from the behind. Urban hits the Giroud Headbutt and pins free cat.*

Lucifer Garcia: FREE CAT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.

Its all even now! And Team Anti Pep sends in Hapless Hans!

*An exhausted Urban tags in McAgger. McAgger and Hans fight until Hans gets the upper hand. Hans heads to the top rope but McAgger swiftly hits a Coutinho Curler scissors kick. Hans is dazed*

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY THAT KICK NEARLY TOOK HANS's HEAD OFF. AND oh my god is he going to

*McAgger hits the Matip Buster! Hapless Hans is pinned*

Lucifer Garcia: HAPLESS HANS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.

The odds are in favor of Team Anti Pep now. Its 4 on 3!

*Casciavit is bought in but McAgger tags in Gil. Gil and McAgger use the numbers game to their advantage and frequently trade tags, double teaming Cas and isolating him from his corner. Cas valiantly fights, and manages to hit a double Pele kick on McAgger and Gil. He manages to make the tag to Mole*

HERE COMES MOLE CENA

*Mole cleans house using the power of troll lyfe and hustlye, loyalty, respect. Does his u cant ban me 5 knuckle shuffle and hits the FU Pardew on McAgger. Pins McAgger 1..2...3*

Lucifer Garcia: MCAGGER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.

Its 3 on 3 now! What a match we are having. Its Mole Cena and Gil on the ring now. AND MOLE IS BEATING UP GIL LIKE THE PROVERBIAL GOVERNMENT MULE. Gil must be wishing he can change allegiances like Diego Costa now.

*Mole locks in the STFU on Gil! Gil looks like he is going to tap out when suddenly up the ramp with microphone in hand comes...*

WHAT THE HELL?! ITS HARMONICA! WHAT THE HELL IS HARMONICA DOING HERE?! HE HAS NO BUSINESS HERE.

Harmonica: HEY MOLE! I was just backstage trying to play The Witcher 3 and I couldn't stand to play a game that is so *bleep* backdated. I uninstalled that pos and installed Morrowind which has so much better graphics.

*Mole lets go of Gil. Tears in his eyes, foam coming out of his mouth eyes red with rages he chases after Harmonica. Harmonica runs backstage and Mole follows. Referee RG beings the count to 10 and to the dismay of Cas and CBarca, Mole is counted out*

Lucifer Garcia: MOLE CENA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.

HARMONICA U SUNVABITCH

For our viewers at home who don't know, Mole and Harmonica have recently engaged in a very personal rivalry. Tonight we have seen Harmonica take it a step too far. What he did was truly diabolical. As the old saying goes you don't insult a man's wife, mother and in Mole's case, his Witcher 3.

*CB and ES square up in the ring. The fight is taken to the outside. ES clears out the announce table and calls in Gil and Urban. They set up CB for a triple powerbomb but Cas intervenes. Cas sends Gil to the crowd and spears urban thorugh the barricade! CB manages to put ES on the announce table and brings out a 20 foot ladder from under the ring. CB clobs to the top..*

Oh my god. CB dont do this kid. Think about your family. Think about your fans. Don't

*CB hits an elbow drop from 20 feet to ES on the announce table. The table breaks*

NOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO! OH MY GOD CB JUST PUT HIS BODY, HIS CAREER ON THE LINE FOR PEP! THIS KID IS READY TO KILL HIMSELF FOR THAT MAN!

*Referee begins the count to 10. Cas carries CB to the ring ES begins to stir at the count of 7. He staggers into the ring, reaches ringside at the count of 9, tries to enter the ring, and he staggers. Count of 10. ES has been counted out*

Lucifer Garcia: ES HAS BEEN ELMINATED.

Captain ES has been counted out! It took a 20 foot elbow drop into the table to keep him down and he still managed to make it into his feet but wait a minute...

*Camera zooms in to reveal two little hands holding ES's right foot from under the ring. ES pulls the person out...*

BAH GAWD ITS MT. TEAM PEP'S MASCOT

*MT runs for his life. An irate ES chases him. MT trips at the ramp. ES grabs him and Bonaventura Bombs him from the ramp down 10 feet to 4 tables down below*

GOOD GOOD ALMIGHTY HE KILLED HIM! AS GAWD AS MY WITNESS MT IS BROKEN IN HALF

*EMTs, RG and other referees check on MT, In the ensuing chaos a hooded figure arrives and attacks Cas*

WHAT THE

*Takes of hood and

ITS BIG PAPA TOM!

*Tom hits the 360NoScope on Cas. Ever the opportunist, Gil pins Cas as soon as RG gets back on the ring*

Lucifer Garcia: CASCIAVIT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

BIG PAPA TOM TAKING HIS REVENGE FOR MILAN BEATING JUVE! THE TIDE OF THIS MATCH JUST CHANGED!

*CB is the only left from Team Pep. Gil tags in urbaNRoots. Urban tries to go for a Giroud Headbutt but CB counters with a Chokeslam and pins Urban.*

Lucifer Garcia: URBANROOTS has been eliminated.

ITS ONE ON ONE NOW. GIL AND CBARCA! WHO WILL PREVAIL?!

*Gil and CB square off. CB gets the upperhand and builds momentum. CB hits the Dier DDT. Pins Gil, 1..2..Gil kicks out! CB in disbelief. Gil hits a Willian Whirly slingblade from outta nowhere. 1...2...CB kicks out! Now Gil is in disbelief. CB manages to counter Gil's second attempt at a Willian Whirly and hits a Alli Rocket straight smack in the mouth, Gil kicks out again! CB goes for the Chokeslam but Gil counters in to the Costa Clutch chokehold. CB will not tap out!*

WHAT A MATCH WE ARE HAVING! CB IS LOCKED IN THE COSTA CLUTCH BUT HE WILL NOT TAP OUT! THE HEART, THE PASSION OF THIS KID! COME ON CB! COME ON!

*CB is fading he looks close to passing out but he begins to stir, CB breaks out of the hold! Gil comes in with a clothesline but CB ducks and hits the chokeslam*

HE HIT IT! HE HIT THE CHOKESLAM

1

2

GIL PUTS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE

OH MY LORD HOW WAS THAT NOT A THREE?! GREAT RING AWARENESS BY THE VETERAN TROLL

*Gil signals to the referee that he is hurt. Referee RG comes in to check on him. CB advances on Gil but RG tells him to back of. While CB's back is turned Gil hits a dropkick on his back. CB is perched on the middle rope and Gil hits the 3-4-3!*

THAT CRAFTY SUNVABITCH WAS PLAYING POSSUM! HE WAS NEVER INJURED! GODDAMN YOU GIL DAMN YOUR BLACK SOUL!

*"Be quiet you clown" Gil yells at commentator Dani.*

*Gil locks in the Costa Clutch on the dazed CBarca. CBarca is determined not the tap out. CBarca finally passes out and referee RG calls for the bell.*

Lucifer Garcia: HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND SOLE SURVIVOR, GIL. THE WINNERS ARE...TEAM ANTI PEPPPPPPPP!

What a hellacious match this was. Team Anti Pep has won, bah gawd Team Anti Pep has won!

The Demon of Carthage wrote:I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who read every single word from M99's GOAT post.

One of the best posters of GL, and for a very good reason.

Doc wrote:The wrestling stuff flew over my head due to me not following wrestling in any shape or form but I did enjoy the wrestling move names. Pretty creative.

ES wrote:No one dare bump that Pep thread after this, its f*cking Celtic

elfmeter wrote:Ok, I exaggerate, not every single person. RWO picked gladbach and City

They kept asking when/if will Pep adapt to the Premier League. The question should be: when will the Premier League adapt to Guardiola?

— Sergi Domínguez (@FutbolSergi) September 24, 2016