Headlines you wanna read in the morning?

Alright, lets say I wake up tomorrow and I wanna read this:

"Lucas Podolski and Eden Hazard confirm signings for Arsenal!"

"Samir Nasri is out for 12 months. "

etc...

Or just one more :

"Rafa Benitez confessed: Football Manager was a wrong job"

Milan sign a f*cking decent AM
Thiago Silva:"I will never go to Barca"

"RVP out for 6 months"

"Juan Mata and the Queen get Married, Long Live the King"

Or Sir Alex retires. United name Van Gaal as new Manager.

"Bizarre Flu epidemic tears through Inter Locker Room, Mysteriously affecting only those over 30"

Wisla Krakow get a rich oil sugar daddy!!!!

"Inter have titles revoked: truth comes out finally."

"Ibrahimovic retires from football after abuse from Juventus fans."

"Luciano Moggi named Juventus director once again, Marotta out."

Is it permissible for defenders to take the ball away from Messi? UEFA spokesman says "No". Suggests amendments to the rulebook are on the way.

Seppuku wrote:Is it permissible for defenders to take the ball away from Messi? UEFA spokesman says "No". Suggests amendments to the rulebook are on the way.

? its not even funny!

"Cassano fakes illness just to prank teammates!"

"Quagliarella to start against ..."
"Pepe to retire from football and turn to singing and preaching"
"Del Piero signs 30 year contract extension"

highburied wrote:
"Eden Hazard confirms signing for Arsenal!"
"Samir Nasri is out for 12 months. "

.. also:

"RVP signs new 5-year contract"

"RVP's son signs lifelong Arsenal contract after learning from daddy the meaning of loyalty and pride"

"Karim Benzema escapes Madrid and joins Arsenal on a free deal stating: 'the view from the bench got boring and I am not Higuain's bitch'

"Bacary Sagna's leg magically healed over night, and he trained with the team today."

"UEFA decides to replay 2005 CL Final"

"Fernando Torres leaves Chelski for Liverpool for a free transfer"

"SAF retires"

"Messi out for the rest of the season"

"Podolski wins Balon D'Or"

"Liverpool confirm Cavani signing"

"Agger leads Denmark to World Cup title, Eriksen wins Golden Ball"

"Cavani breaks 70 goal mark in one season"

"Pablo Piatti's impressive 25 goal and 20 assist first season at Liverpool sees him win Barclay's Player of the Year"

"Liverpool win EPL"

"Real Madrid finally gets La Decima"

Messiakanino wrote:"Fernando Torres leaves Chelski for Liverpool for a free transfer"

"SAF retires"

"Messi out for the rest of the season"

"Podolski wins Balon D'Or"

"Liverpool confirm Cavani signing"

"Agger leads Denmark to World Cup title, Eriksen wins Golden Ball"

"Cavani breaks 70 goal mark in one season"

"Pablo Piatti's impressive 25 goal and 20 assist first season at Liverpool sees him win Barclay's Player of the Year"

"Liverpool win EPL"

"Real Madrid finally gets La Decima"

Thats just not cool!

Cassano to start this weekend after illness scare.
Balotelli returns to inter.
Inter win.

"Podolski wins Ballon d'Or, European Championships, qualifies for UCL, voted best player in the world."

Be/\/ceCALI wrote:

highburied wrote:
"Eden Hazard confirms signing for Arsenal!"
"Samir Nasri is out for 12 months. "

.. also:

"RVP signs new 5-year contract"

"RVP's son signs lifelong Arsenal contract after learning from daddy the meaning of loyalty and pride"

"Karim Benzema escapes Madrid and joins Arsenal on a free deal stating: 'the view from the bench got boring and I am not Higuain's bitch'

"Bacary Sagna's leg magically healed over night, and he trained with the team today."

RVP stops aging

zarola wrote:Cassano to start this weekend after illness scare.
Balotelli returns to inter.
Inter win.

At least be realistic
Inter, win?

Nerman signs for Manchester united for £2 million
Jonny Evans leg had to get ammputated so he can never play football again
Xavi: David Villa is suffering, Messi won't give him the ball
Messi gets injured for 6 years
Guardiola will become the coach of man u when SAF retires in 12 years
Sepp Blatter steps down
SAF to become next head of FIFA
Nerman wins the farcial d'or
Nerman gets a hair cut
Nerman learns to play in a seamless tiki taka attacking system

I win the freaking lottery.

"Official: Goal-line technology implimented today"

Sahin finally plays for real madrid

real madrid win la decima
real madrid win la liga

id say other ones but wont risk it

Pele: "I am taking a vow of silence until Messi breaks my records"

Xabi is a Messi hater again