Pep told me to...

Pep told me to GTFO back to Serie A.

Yaya, Eto'o :Pep told me that if i ever wanted to be in the starting lineup i had to get rid of the tan.

Xavi: he dissapointed me

Ibra: Pep told me not to fart as the smell would only linger at around 5'7

Ibra: Pep told me to use every dirty trick in the book as long as Barca wins, dive, play act, fall down at every contact, get the opponents as angry as possible so they get sent off (this includes racism)

Pep told me to keep my hands off pique

Ibra: Pep told me to ride the bike to training to lose some of my weight

i put my palm on my face and told him it was muscles and not fat

messi looked at me with tearful eyes and asked pep to punish ibra, so pep decided to grant messi a wish

and so he chose to play as a CF to piss me off

i then said to pep that he was the opposite of lady gaga because he had no balls

pep looked at me asked xavi for a tissue who jumped off his seat to search for some

pep glanced at iniesta who then flew off his seat within a blink of an eye to help xavi

they didnt find any because the club had used up all the money to pay for other "more important" things

pique then excused himself to calm me down, he simply pushed me into the next door.........

all this and much more in the limited edition of Ibra Butthurt

out soon, limiting and exclusions apply see instore for detail, while stocks last

Pep told me that he promised God that I won't ever win a CL, so he ordered the team to lose against Inter and send me back to a team that won't win the CL before I retire.

As compensation, he said that he'll ensure that my next team would win the league.

Ibra: Pep told me the volcano was my fault

Ibra: Pep told me karate isn't a real sport

Missi: Pep told me that I must miss penalty.

Ibra: Pep told me that I am not humble and respectful.

Cha-chingski: Pep told me i would make it

Pep told me Barca only want Hobbits as attackers, and that im too tall and sexy for them.

Pep told me that he was deceived, by me.