Re: Quotes from other forums that make you LOL

[Yeezus]

^

LOOOOOOOOOOL

[Guest]

https://twitter.com/RAWK_Meltdown/status/259257998025830400

The replies.

[Le Samourai]

Wells Fargo is no different from Washington Mutual or Marshall and Illsley or Citicorp...they are all greedy capitalist pigs, wholly bent on profit at the expense of the average account holder who merely wants to save something to protect him from the imminent collapse of the Social Security system (Clinton's fault by the way, and Al Gore's, I'll explain the fatal flaw of the "lockbox" theory later in this exquisitely political essay...)...I switched to a small community bank that offers overdraft protection ab initio. The problem is Bush, who refuses to sign into law bills passed by Congress to safeguard the little guy who just wants to stick his money into a FDIC insured mattress. The Republican Party is obviously to blame, though the Democratic Party has to answer to this shit as well. They are all communists deep down, they probably all admire Hugo Chavez and of course idolize Castro, who by the way is making a stunning recovery thanks to the wonderful single-payer health system they have in Cuba. They are treating Fidel just like any other citizen, trust me. Only right-wing nuts would deny that. In fact, Fidel would likely have succumbed to his long string of syphilis-derived complications in a post-Reagan, wholly privatized health care system like the American one. Speaking of things American, it boils down to this...everyone is a crook, not just Wells Fargo, how could you not be a crook under a system that places profit above personhood, wealth above human dignity, materialism over spiritualism. Thae great Pancho Villa and the even greater Alvaro Obregon understood that government tends to seek its own interests, almost organically, like an ever growing uncontrollable Medusa head, and therefore needs to be decapitated by a new Greek demi-god, like Villa or Obregon themselves. The fact that these great figures who gave birth to the modern Mexican state never had to grapple with the issue of administering health care as a natural right in the context of contemporary fiscal policies (Keynesian, Samuelsonian, Friedmanian I don't really give a crap) doesn't diminish their contribution to welfare state idealism in the contemporary collective political consciousness of a citizenry that demands more and more of government while at the same time yearning for an equitable and sustainable fiscal load on the domestic microeconomy, not to mention tax relief for the Italian metalmeccanici who are suffering under Romano Prodi's attempt to straighten the books of the Italian Republic by levying onerous new taxes. Speaking of Prodi, there is convincing evidence that he was, while director of the Istituto per la Ricostruzione Industriale, an active spy for the Soviet regime under Leonid Breznev. The CIA has a dossier on him that is a mile long. The CIA of course, evolving from a wartime collector of intellingence, the old OSS, into an instrument of political repression of its own citizens, may have a hidden agenda, like trying to justify how it interferes into European affairs while sucking dry the American taxpayer. The agenda of course isn't really "hidden": political euphimisms were after all an invention of the CIA, developed inthe course of that agency's attemto to undermine Latin American emerging democracies of a leftward bent. The approach to banking, for example, in post-Utamaros Uruguay, was in some ways eerily similar to Wells Fargo's "account holders' management strategy," something that the bolshevik-inspired utamaros leveraged to their advantage in the campaign of terror against a clearly philo-American regime. Which of course brings us back to Wells Fargo...how did this quaint savings and loan home grown corn fed backwood bank go from wholesome stagecoach delivery of banknotes, under the protection of 12 gauge carrying whippersnappers, to rapacious profiteering at the expense of unsuspecting depositors? The answer lies in the inherent evil of modern technology, which enables the almighty centralized state to keep tabs on every movement of unsuspecting citizens, ironically the very fount of government's authority. In fact, the Italian guru of Red Brigade ideolgy, Toni Negri, condemns from his jail cell the incipient onslaught of technologically aided control of the proletarian masses, something that Emiliano Zapata and Giuseppe Garibaldi foresaw a century or more earlier. For proof, Camillo Benso Conte di Cavour preceded Otto Von Bismark in sounding the clarion call against the progress of industrialists and their evergrowing influence over the Parliament of the superpower of its day, the now rather pathetic, and de facto insignificant on the world stage, Engerland. The Northern Rock crisis has nonetheless propelled that once-great nation back to the forefront of global events, eclipsing in BBC reportage the dreary news from America about the sub-prime lending fiasco that now threatens to reduce the United States to the same level of insignificance as its Mother Country. Now of course the Mother Country will argue that its Magna Charta is a more relevant political document, understood in terms of the evolution of modern democratic thought, than the American Declaration of independence. Let us now dissect the language of the two sister documents for the purpose of comparison (here we must for once thank the Russians for the gift of Marxist historical analysis).

Let us start with the Magna Charta:

"JOHN, by the grace of God King of England, Lord of Ireland, Duke of Normandy and Aquitaine, and Count of Anjou, to his archbishops, bishops, abbots, earls, barons, justices, foresters, sheriffs, stewards, servants, and to all his officials and loyal subjects, Greeting.


KNOW THAT BEFORE GOD, for the health of our soul and those of our ancestors and heirs, to the honour of God, the exaltation of the holy Church, and the better ordering of our kingdom, at the advice of our reverend fathers Stephen, archbishop of Canterbury, primate of all England, and cardinal of the holy Roman Church, Henry archbishop of Dublin, William bishop of London, Peter bishop of Winchester, Jocelin bishop of Bath and Glastonbury, Hugh bishop of Lincoln, Walter Bishop of Worcester, William bishop of Coventry, Benedict bishop of Rochester, Master Pandulf subdeacon and member of the papal household, Brother Aymeric master of the knighthood of the Temple in England, William Marshal earl of Pembroke, William earl of Salisbury, William earl of Warren, William earl of Arundel, Alan de Galloway constable of Scotland, Warin Fitz Gerald, Peter Fitz Herbert, Hubert de Burgh seneschal of Poitou, Hugh de Neville, Matthew Fitz Herbert, Thomas Basset, Alan Basset, Philip Daubeny, Robert de Roppeley, John Marshal, John Fitz Hugh, and other loyal subjects:

+ (1) FIRST, THAT WE HAVE GRANTED TO GOD, and by this present charter have confirmed for us and our heirs in perpetuity, that the English Church shall be free, and shall have its rights undiminished, and its liberties unimpaired. That we wish this so to be observed, appears from the fact that of our own free will, before the outbreak of the present dispute between us and our barons, we granted and confirmed by charter the freedom of the Church's elections - a right reckoned to be of the greatest necessity and importance to it - and caused this to be confirmed by Pope Innocent III. This freedom we shall observe ourselves, and desire to be observed in good faith by our heirs in perpetuity.

TO ALL FREE MEN OF OUR KINGDOM we have also granted, for us and our heirs for ever, all the liberties written out below, to have and to keep for them and their heirs, of us and our heirs:

(2) If any earl, baron, or other person that holds lands directly of the Crown, for military service, shall die, and at his death his heir shall be of full age and owe a `relief', the heir shall have his inheritance on payment of the ancient scale of `relief'. That is to say, the heir or heirs of an earl shall pay £100 for the entire earl's barony, the heir or heirs of a knight l00s. at most for the entire knight's `fee', and any man that owes less shall pay less, in accordance with the ancient usage of `fees'

(3) But if the heir of such a person is under age and a ward, when he comes of age he shall have his inheritance without `relief' or fine.

(4) The guardian of the land of an heir who is under age shall take from it only reasonable revenues, customary dues, and feudal services. He shall do this without destruction or damage to men or property. If we have given the guardianship of the land to a sheriff, or to any person answerable to us for the revenues, and he commits destruction or damage, we will exact compensation from him, and the land shall be entrusted to two worthy and prudent men of the same `fee', who shall be answerable to us for the revenues, or to the person to whom we have assigned them. If we have given or sold to anyone the guardianship of such land, and he causes destruction or damage, he shall lose the guardianship of it, and it shall be handed over to two worthy and prudent men of the same `fee', who shall be similarly answerable to us.

(5) For so long as a guardian has guardianship of such land, he shall maintain the houses, parks, fish preserves, ponds, mills, and everything else pertaining to it, from the revenues of the land itself. When the heir comes of age, he shall restore the whole land to him, stocked with plough teams and such implements of husbandry as the season demands and the revenues from the land can reasonably bear.

(6) Heirs may be given in marriage, but not to someone of lower social standing. Before a marriage takes place, it shall be' made known to the heir's next-of-kin.

(7) At her husband's death, a widow may have her marriage portion and inheritance at once and without trouble. She shall pay nothing for her dower, marriage portion, or any inheritance that she and her husband held jointly on the day of his death. She may remain in her husband's house for forty days after his death, and within this period her dower shall be assigned to her.

( No widow shall be compelled to marry, so long as she wishes to remain without a husband. But she must give security that she will not marry without royal consent, if she holds her lands of the Crown, or without the consent of whatever other lord she may hold them of.

(9) Neither we nor our officials will seize any land or rent in payment of a debt, so long as the debtor has movable goods sufficient to discharge the debt. A debtor's sureties shall not be distrained upon so long as the debtor himself can discharge his debt. If, for lack of means, the debtor is unable to discharge his debt, his sureties shall be answerable for it. If they so desire, they may have the debtor's lands and rents until they have received satisfaction for the debt that they paid for him, unless the debtor can show that he has settled his obligations to them.

* (10) If anyone who has borrowed a sum of money from Jews dies before the debt has been repaid, his heir shall pay no interest on the debt for so long as he remains under age, irrespective of whom he holds his lands. If such a debt falls into the hands of the Crown, it will take nothing except the principal sum specified in the bond.

* (11) If a man dies owing money to Jews, his wife may have her dower and pay nothing towards the debt from it. If he leaves children that are under age, their needs may also be provided for on a scale appropriate to the size of his holding of lands. The debt is to be paid out of the residue, reserving the service due to his feudal lords. Debts owed to persons other than Jews are to be dealt with similarly.

* (12) No `scutage' or `aid' may be levied in our kingdom without its general consent, unless it is for the ransom of our person, to make our eldest son a knight, and (once) to marry our eldest daughter. For these purposes ouly a reasonable `aid' may be levied. `Aids' from the city of London are to be treated similarly.

+ (13) The city of London shall enjoy all its ancient liberties and free customs, both by land and by water. We also will and grant that all other cities, boroughs, towns, and ports shall enjoy all their liberties and free customs.

* (14) To obtain the general consent of the realm for the assessment of an `aid' - except in the three cases specified above - or a `scutage', we will cause the archbishops, bishops, abbots, earls, and greater barons to be summoned individually by letter. To those who hold lands directly of us we will cause a general summons to be issued, through the sheriffs and other officials, to come together on a fixed day (of which at least forty days notice shall be given) and at a fixed place. In all letters of summons, the cause of the summons will be stated. When a summons has been issued, the business appointed for the day shall go forward in accordance with the resolution of those present, even if not all those who were summoned have appeared.

* (15) In future we will allow no one to levy an `aid' from his free men, except to ransom his person, to make his eldest son a knight, and (once) to marry his eldest daughter. For these purposes only a reasonable `aid' may be levied.

(16) No man shall be forced to perform more service for a knight's `fee', or other free holding of land, than is due from it.

(17) Ordinary lawsuits shall not follow the royal court around, but shall be held in a fixed place.

(18) Inquests of novel disseisin, mort d'ancestor, and darrein presentment shall be taken only in their proper county court. We ourselves, or in our absence abroad our chief justice, will send two justices to each county four times a year, and these justices, with four knights of the county elected by the county itself, shall hold the assizes in the county court, on the day and in the place where the court meets.

(19) If any assizes cannot be taken on the day of the county court, as many knights and freeholders shall afterwards remain behind, of those who have attended the court, as will suffice for the administration of justice, having regard to the volume of business to be done.

(20) For a trivial offence, a free man shall be fined only in proportion to the degree of his offence, and for a serious offence correspondingly, but not so heavily as to deprive him of his livelihood. In the same way, a merchant shall be spared his merchandise, and a husbandman the implements of his husbandry, if they fall upon the mercy of a royal court. None of these fines shall be imposed except by the assessment on oath of reputable men of the neighbourhood.

(21) Earls and barons shall be fined only by their equals, and in proportion to the gravity of their offence.

(22) A fine imposed upon the lay property of a clerk in holy orders shall be assessed upon the same principles, without reference to the value of his ecclesiastical benefice.

(23) No town or person shall be forced to build bridges over rivers except those with an ancient obligation to do so.

(24) No sheriff, constable, coroners, or other royal officials are to hold lawsuits that should be held by the royal justices.

* (25) Every county, hundred, wapentake, and tithing shall remain at its ancient rent, without increase, except the royal demesne manors.

(26) If at the death of a man who holds a lay `fee' of the Crown, a sheriff or royal official produces royal letters patent of summons for a debt due to the Crown, it shall be lawful for them to seize and list movable goods found in the lay `fee' of the dead man to the value of the debt, as assessed by worthy men. Nothing shall be removed until the whole debt is paid, when the residue shall be given over to the executors to carry out the dead man s will. If no debt is due to the Crown, all the movable goods shall be regarded as the property of the dead man, except the reasonable shares of his wife and children.

* (27) If a free man dies intestate, his movable goods are to be distributed by his next-of-kin and friends, under the supervision of the Church. The rights of his debtors are to be preserved.

(28) No constable or other royal official shall take corn or other movable goods from any man without immediate payment, unless the seller voluntarily offers postponement of this.

(29) No constable may compel a knight to pay money for castle-guard if the knight is willing to undertake the guard in person, or with reasonable excuse to supply some other fit man to do it. A knight taken or sent on military service shall be excused from castle-guard for the period of this servlce.

(30) No sheriff, royal official, or other person shall take horses or carts for transport from any free man, without his consent.

(31) Neither we nor any royal official will take wood for our castle, or for any other purpose, without the consent of the owner.

(32) We will not keep the lands of people convicted of felony in our hand for longer than a year and a day, after which they shall be returned to the lords of the `fees' concerned.

(33) All fish-weirs shall be removed from the Thames, the Medway, and throughout the whole of England, except on the sea coast.

(34) The writ called precipe shall not in future be issued to anyone in respect of any holding of land, if a free man could thereby be deprived of the right of trial in his own lord's court.

(35) There shall be standard measures of wine, ale, and corn (the London quarter), throughout the kingdom. There shall also be a standard width of dyed cloth, russett, and haberject, namely two ells within the selvedges. Weights are to be standardised similarly.

(36) In future nothing shall be paid or accepted for the issue of a writ of inquisition of life or limbs. It shall be given gratis, and not refused.

(37) If a man holds land of the Crown by `fee-farm', `socage', or `burgage', and also holds land of someone else for knight's service, we will not have guardianship of his heir, nor of the land that belongs to the other person's `fee', by virtue of the `fee-farm', `socage', or `burgage', unless the `fee-farm' owes knight's service. We will not have the guardianship of a man's heir, or of land that he holds of someone else, by reason of any small property that he may hold of the Crown for a service of knives, arrows, or the like.

(38) In future no official shall place a man on trial upon his own unsupported statement, without producing credible witnesses to the truth of it.

+ (39) No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled, or deprived of his standing in any other way, nor will we proceed with force against him, or send others to do so, except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land.

+ (40) To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

(41) All merchants may enter or leave England unharmed and without fear, and may stay or travel within it, by land or water, for purposes of trade, free from all illegal exactions, in accordance with ancient and lawful customs. This, however, does not apply in time of war to merchants from a country that is at war with us. Any such merchants found in our country at the outbreak of war shall be detained without injury to their persons or property, until we or our chief justice have discovered how our own merchants are being treated in the country at war with us. If our own merchants are safe they shall be safe too.

* (42) In future it shall be lawful for any man to leave and return to our kingdom unharmed and without fear, by land or water, preserving his allegiance to us, except in time of war, for some short period, for the common benefit of the realm. People that have been imprisoned or outlawed in accordance with the law of the land, people from a country that is at war with us, and merchants - who shall be dealt with as stated above - are excepted from this provision.

(43) If a man holds lands of any `escheat' such as the `honour' of Wallingford, Nottingham, Boulogne, Lancaster, or of other `escheats' in our hand that are baronies, at his death his heir shall give us only the `relief' and service that he would have made to the baron, had the barony been in the baron's hand. We will hold the `escheat' in the same manner as the baron held it.

(44) People who live outside the forest need not in future appear before the royal justices of the forest in answer to general summonses, unless they are actually involved in proceedings or are sureties for someone who has been seized for a forest offence.

* (45) We will appoint as justices, constables, sheriffs, or other officials, only men that know the law of the realm and are minded to keep it well.

(46) All barons who have founded abbeys, and have charters of English kings or ancient tenure as evidence of this, may have guardianship of them when there is no abbot, as is their due.

(47) All forests that have been created in our reign shall at once be disafforested. River-banks that have been enclosed in our reign shall be treated similarly.

* (48) All evil customs relating to forests and warrens, foresters, warreners, sheriffs and their servants, or river-banks and their wardens, are at once to be investigated in every county by twelve sworn knights of the county, and within forty days of their enquiry the evil customs are to be abolished completely and irrevocably. But we, or our chief justice if we are not in England, are first to be informed.

* (49) We will at once return all hostages and charters delivered up to us by Englishmen as security for peace or for loyal service.

* (50) We will remove completely from their offices the kinsmen of Gerard de Athée, and in future they shall hold no offices in England. The people in question are Engelard de Cigogné', Peter, Guy, and Andrew de Chanceaux, Guy de Cigogné, Geoffrey de Martigny and his brothers, Philip Marc and his brothers, with Geoffrey his nephew, and all their followers.

* (51) As soon as peace is restored, we will remove from the kingdom all the foreign knights, bowmen, their attendants, and the mercenaries that have come to it, to its harm, with horses and arms.

* (52) To any man whom we have deprived or dispossessed of lands, castles, liberties, or rights, without the lawful judgement of his equals, we will at once restore these. In cases of dispute the matter shall be resolved by the judgement of the twenty-five barons referred to below in the clause for securing the peace (§ 61). In cases, however, where a man was deprived or dispossessed of something without the lawful judgement of his equals by our father King Henry or our brother King Richard, and it remains in our hands or is held by others under our warranty, we shall have respite for the period commonly allowed to Crusaders, unless a lawsuit had been begun, or an enquiry had been made at our order, before we took the Cross as a Crusader. On our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once render justice in full.

* (53) We shall have similar respite in rendering justice in connexion with forests that are to be disafforested, or to remain forests, when these were first a-orested by our father Henry or our brother Richard; with the guardianship of lands in another person's `fee', when we have hitherto had this by virtue of a `fee' held of us for knight's service by a third party; and with abbeys founded in another person's `fee', in which the lord of the `fee' claims to own a right. On our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once do full justice to complaints about these matters.

(54) No one shall be arrested or imprisoned on the appeal of a woman for the death of any person except her husband.

* (55) All fines that have been given to us unjustiy and against the law of the land, and all fines that we have exacted unjustly, shall be entirely remitted or the matter decided by a majority judgement of the twenty-five barons referred to below in the clause for securing the peace (§ 61) together with Stephen, archbishop of Canterbury, if he can be present, and such others as he wishes to bring with him. If the archbishop cannot be present, proceedings shall continue without him, provided that if any of the twenty-five barons has been involved in a similar suit himself, his judgement shall be set aside, and someone else chosen and sworn in his place, as a substitute for the single occasion, by the rest of the twenty-five.

(56) If we have deprived or dispossessed any Welshmen of lands, liberties, or anything else in England or in Wales, without the lawful judgement of their equals, these are at once to be returned to them. A dispute on this point shall be determined in the Marches by the judgement of equals. English law shall apply to holdings of land in England, Welsh law to those in Wales, and the law of the Marches to those in the Marches. The Welsh shall treat us and ours in the same way.

* (57) In cases where a Welshman was deprived or dispossessed of anything, without the lawful judgement of his equals, by our father King Henry or our brother King Richard, and it remains in our hands or is held by others under our warranty, we shall have respite for the period commonly allowed to Crusaders, unless a lawsuit had been begun, or an enquiry had been made at our order, before we took the Cross as a Crusader. But on our return from the Crusade, or if we abandon it, we will at once do full justice according to the laws of Wales and the said regions.

* (58) We will at once return the son of Llywelyn, all Welsh hostages, and the charters delivered to us as security for the peace.

* (59) With regard to the return of the sisters and hostages of Alexander, king of Scotland, his liberties and his rights, we will treat him in the same way as our other barons of England, unless it appears from the charters that we hold from his father William, formerly king of Scotland, that he should be treated otherwise. This matter shall be resolved by the judgement of his equals in our court.

(60) All these customs and liberties that we have granted shall be observed in our kingdom in so far as concerns our own relations with our subjects. Let all men of our kingdom, whether clergy or laymen, observe them similarly in their relations with their own men.

* (61) SINCE WE HAVE GRANTED ALL THESE THINGS for God, for the better ordering of our kingdom, and to allay the discord that has arisen between us and our barons, and since we desire that they shall be enjoyed in their entirety, with lasting strength, for ever, we give and grant to the barons the following security:

The barons shall elect twenty-five of their number to keep, and cause to be observed with all their might, the peace and liberties granted and confirmed to them by this charter.
If we, our chief justice, our officials, or any of our servants offend in any respect against any man, or transgress any of the articles of the peace or of this security, and the offence is made known to four of the said twenty-five barons, they shall come to us - or in our absence from the kingdom to the chief justice - to declare it and claim immediate redress. If we, or in our absence abroad the chiefjustice, make no redress within forty days, reckoning from the day on which the offence was declared to us or to him, the four barons shall refer the matter to the rest of the twenty-five barons, who may distrain upon and assail us in every way possible, with the support of the whole community of the land, by seizing our castles, lands, possessions, or anything else saving only our own person and those of the queen and our children, until they have secured such redress as they have determined upon. Having secured the redress, they may then resume their normal obedience to us.

Any man who so desires may take an oath to obey the commands of the twenty-five barons for the achievement of these ends, and to join with them in assailing us to the utmost of his power. We give public and free permission to take this oath to any man who so desires, and at no time will we prohibit any man from taking it. Indeed, we will compel any of our subjects who are unwilling to take it to swear it at our command.

If-one of the twenty-five barons dies or leaves the country, or is prevented in any other way from discharging his duties, the rest of them shall choose another baron in his place, at their discretion, who shall be duly sworn in as they were.

In the event of disagreement among the twenty-five barons on any matter referred to them for decision, the verdict of the majority present shall have the same validity as a unanimous verdict of the whole twenty-five, whether these were all present or some of those summoned were unwilling or unable to appear.

The twenty-five barons shall swear to obey all the above articles faithfully, and shall cause them to be obeyed by others to the best of their power.

We will not seek to procure from anyone, either by our own efforts or those of a third party, anything by which any part of these concessions or liberties might be revoked or diminished. Should such a thing be procured, it shall be null and void and we will at no time make use of it, either ourselves or through a third party.

* (62) We have remitted and pardoned fully to all men any ill-will, hurt, or grudges that have arisen between us and our subjects, whether clergy or laymen, since the beginning of the dispute. We have in addition remitted fully, and for our own part have also pardoned, to all clergy and laymen any offences committed as a result of the said dispute between Easter in the sixteenth year of our reign (i.e. 1215) and the restoration of peace.

In addition we have caused letters patent to be made for the barons, bearing witness to this security and to the concessions set out above, over the seals of Stephen archbishop of Canterbury, Henry archbishop of Dublin, the other bishops named above, and Master Pandulf.

* (63) IT IS ACCORDINGLY OUR WISH AND COMMAND that the English Church shall be free, and that men in our kingdom shall have and keep all these liberties, rights, and concessions, well and peaceably in their fulness and entirety for them and their heirs, of us and our heirs, in all things and all places for ever.

Both we and the barons have sworn that all this shall be observed in good faith and without deceit. Witness the abovementioned people and many others.

Given by our hand in the meadow that is called Runnymede, between Windsor and Staines, on the fifteenth day of June in the seventeenth year of our reign."

Let us now read the Declaration of Independence:

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor."

Clearly the American document is superior, though we must admit that the metaphysical concepts in it embodied would not be without the English document. The banking (lending) provisions in the Magna Charta went unadressed by the Declaration of Independence. So you make up your own mind? Who's to Blame for Wells Fargo? The Russians? The Mexicans? The Italians? The Americans themselves? Or is this a global plague, one that can only find an answer in a unitarian global government where Tanzanian and Estonian, Ugandan and Sumatran, French and Vietnamese, Chinese and Venezuelan, Cuban and Dane, Swede and Malaysian, Sicilian and Burmese, Sardinian and Alaskan, Khazak and Finn, Hungarian and Portuguese, Botswanan, and Scot, Romanian and Peruvian, Slovak and Cambodian, German and Sudanese, Sicilian and Icelandic, Puertorican and Norwegian, Brazilian and Austrian, Montenegran and Congolese, Colombian and Egyptian, Armenian and Japanese, and the rest of those dialectical materialist nations etcetera govern themselves in Maoist harmony?

You be the judge. However do not judge lest ye be judged. And what juridical principle do you ascribe to when you engage in the act of judgement? Is it of Judeo-Christian origin? Or is it more Roman in its positivistic application? Buddhist in its indecipherable collection of dicta?

I simply say screw Wells Fargo, put your savings in a local community bank

[Guest]

Chelsea sold out to a Russian sugar daddy, whereas we [Arsenal] haven't.

Anal. The only thing you goonahs have ever retained with any conviction.

That Arsenal-hating Chelsea troll. Same guy who made that 'Thierryble' post.

[Yeezus]

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/hall-fame-forum/76242-i-drew-picture-dwayne-rock-johnson-today.html

[Guest]

from Chelsea's forum

That really was gutting. It felt almost like my own team had lost, but that's a familiar feeling for me against Barcelona, who are up there with Andy Schleck and the Indian cricket team as my most despised sporting institution/person. It was brilliant to see Messi's face when Foster made a couple of saves, he couldn't believe it the little twat. I also love how he gets rattled if he ever goes through about an hour in a match and hasn't scored. Best player of all time my arse.

They were simply awful tonight, as they usually are in Europe, but today was special. One of the few times they have literally looked like conceding every single time the opposition went forward. I know they are generally useless at defending but this was special, they were extra shit today. Celtic were simply brilliant all round the park, incisive and quick with the ball and held out really well defensively, Barcelona as per get lucky with a couple of weak, scrappy shots that could easily have been saved on another day or missed the target entirely.

I do love seeing "BEST TEAM OF ALL TIME" struggle, simply because I get a little bit more and more butthurt everytime they're referred to as such because BARCELONA ARE JUST SO SHIT. So average. Sure, they have a great midfield, but they have a pub standard defence and keeper. Pique is dire, a striker playing out of position. Puyol these days is hardly better. Mascherano and Busquets, no matter how much His Holiness Pep insisted, are not centre backs. Daniel Alves is a filthy diving c***, and what's more, he can't defend. Adriano is possibly the worst full back in the history of the universe, Jordi Alba is no good either, and Abidal may as well be strapped to the hospital bed for the rest of his career given how much football he's missed. Their attack is also one dimensional and utter rubbish as well, they just cannot finish. They should be scoring a lot more than they currently do, thanks to another masterstroke from His Holiness Pep playing David Villa, who should have been one of the best strikers of his time, into a winger, and shoving forward idiots like Alexis to play as striker.

Really when you take that into account that they are nothing more than an outstanding midfield plus Messi, they are rubbish all round, and by no means are the best team of their generation let alone the best team of all time. I can think of a couple of comparisons in other sports, Barcelona are a climber who time trials like Frank Schleck with a parachute on, or they are an opening batsman who struggles against the moving ball. In both cases, they fob off time trialling and the swinging ball as old fashioned and don't work on it at all, as well as discrediting teams who use those strategies. In both cases, no one, fan or pundit, would consider them greats of the sport, yet in football everyone seems happy to give them (or anybody else) if they have a striker who scores 60+ a season repeatedly.

[Yeezus]

WARNING: The thread I am going to post is 25 pages long. It is not football related, but a very interesting topic, regardless The thread contains swearing, also. I recommend anyone who has the time to read over 25 pages of discussion to give this thread a look. Also for those who are not feeling interested early in the reading, I recommend trying to reach page 9 (where it gets extremely interesting and hilarious). GOAT THREAD.

Spoiler:

Simon

[Ganso]

from rawk

People do go over the top regarding Barcelona imo, if they were in the premier league, they wouldn't finish top.

They would certainly never do it on a rainy, cold, Wednesday night at Stoke

barca could but Xavi and Messi get theoir heads smashed and legs broken, its truth. too fast for Stoke players they get angry and stomp on Busquets.

[Great Leader Sprucenuce]

Aye we beat Stoke away 3-1 and Stoke at home 3-0 last season but Barca are going to have troubles

[urbaNRoots]

WARNING: The thread I am going to post is 25 pages long. It is not football related, but a very interesting topic, regardless The thread contains swearing, also. I recommend anyone who has the time to read over 25 pages of discussion to give this thread a look. Also for those who are not feeling interested early in the reading, I recommend trying to reach page 9 (where it gets extremely interesting and hilarious). GOAT THREAD.

Spoiler:

Simon

I was bored and read the first 9 pages

Best thread of all time.

[Guest]

from rawk

People do go over the top regarding Barcelona imo, if they were in the premier league, they wouldn't finish top.

They would certainly never do it on a rainy, cold, Wednesday night at Stoke

barca could but Xavi and Messi get theoir heads smashed and legs broken, its truth. too fast for Stoke players they get angry and stomp on Busquets.

These are all sarcastic quotes.

RAWK has more Barca fans than Barca forum itself

you just have to check the threads for classicos n CL games, basically 99% of posters turn into hardcore Barca fans

[Forza]

WARNING: The thread I am going to post is 25 pages long. It is not football related, but a very interesting topic, regardless The thread contains swearing, also. I recommend anyone who has the time to read over 25 pages of discussion to give this thread a look. Also for those who are not feeling interested early in the reading, I recommend trying to reach page 9 (where it gets extremely interesting and hilarious). GOAT THREAD.

Spoiler:

Simon

I was bored and read the first 9 pages

Best thread of all time.

In summary...

Quote:
Originally Posted by davelfc
You cannot go to prison for debts.

If you've stolen the money, committed fraud, then maybe.

But running up debts you cannot go to prison for. At worst you could be made bankrupt and if you've been wreckless or lied you could get that extended for years.

In general people that are made bankrupt are released from bankruptcy after or before 12 months and on benefits are usually not expected to have to pay anything back.

I used to cash cheques for the gypsys on my passport. I was getting 100 euros for cashing them. I didn't realize that anything can happen with it being abroad. But apparently I would have to pay 17p for everypound I cashed and I cashed well over 2 million pounds all together. I know its stupid but when your out there you just think about earning money thats it there is a few thing's I will go down for when they catch me.

This thread started as being about a debt of 10p.

[Raptorgunner]

From Redcafe.

We get more penalties because of Arsenal's thuggish and overly-physical style of play.

[Dante]

WARNING: The thread I am going to post is 25 pages long. It is not football related, but a very interesting topic, regardless The thread contains swearing, also. I recommend anyone who has the time to read over 25 pages of discussion to give this thread a look. Also for those who are not feeling interested early in the reading, I recommend trying to reach page 9 (where it gets extremely interesting and hilarious). GOAT THREAD.

Spoiler:

Simon

I was bored and read the first 9 pages

Best thread of all time.

In summary...

Quote:
Originally Posted by davelfc
You cannot go to prison for debts.

If you've stolen the money, committed fraud, then maybe.

But running up debts you cannot go to prison for. At worst you could be made bankrupt and if you've been wreckless or lied you could get that extended for years.

In general people that are made bankrupt are released from bankruptcy after or before 12 months and on benefits are usually not expected to have to pay anything back.

I used to cash cheques for the gypsys on my passport. I was getting 100 euros for cashing them. I didn't realize that anything can happen with it being abroad. But apparently I would have to pay 17p for everypound I cashed and I cashed well over 2 million pounds all together. I know its stupid but when your out there you just think about earning money thats it there is a few thing's I will go down for when they catch me.

This thread started as being about a debt of 10p.

Read it all.. one of the best ever, just for the lulz ..
that guy 'Simon' must be some kind of an apostole of trolls

hilarious stuff

[boss]

A honest Q? to all of u guys -frequenting or being reg. to other forums !
Is there any boss in this planet looool

[la bestia negra]

WARNING: The thread I am going to post is 25 pages long. It is not football related, but a very interesting topic, regardless The thread contains swearing, also. I recommend anyone who has the time to read over 25 pages of discussion to give this thread a look. Also for those who are not feeling interested early in the reading, I recommend trying to reach page 9 (where it gets extremely interesting and hilarious). GOAT THREAD.

Spoiler:

Simon

only read to pages and had an amazing laugh

[Clockwork Orange]

redcafe - jibers

I'm sorry but some of the posts here are making my blood boil.

Messi - deserves it by a mile. The balon d'or is for the best INDIVIDUAL. Messi was by far the best individual last season. He carried Barcelona on his back and scored 74 goals in a single season. 74 goals. This has never been done in history. Barcelona might have just won the copa del rey, but they went deep enough in every competition thanks to Messi. He contributed far more too his team than any other player did last season. He was The only thjreat against Chelsea in the semis and when Messi is stopped Barcelon look clueless.

Ronaldo - SHould come second, scored many goals and had a big influence on Madrids title win and was unlucky in the Euros. In any other era he would walk the balon d'or, unfortunately he lives in the same era as the best attacking footballer in history

Pirlo - easily come third, led Juventus to the scudetto after being written off. He was easily Juventus and Is by far their most important player, led Italy to a finalin the EUROs and again their most important player and led Juventus to the copa Italia final. 3rd best player by a mile


Other shouts

Iniesta - How anyone can say this guy should win it is a joke. Not even the best player in Barcelona and he had an alright seaon, nothing spectacular, Messi carried him and the rest of Barcelona.. Had a great Euros and him and Pirlo where outstanding but I'm sorry, 3 outstanding games in the EUROs doesn't make him the best player in Europe. What utter BS. `

What annoys me the most is when people gfo Messi has won it too many times. This isn't a damn sentimental award ffs. Iniesta isn't the best, didn't have the best season. And to those saying Drogba, please get a grip. I lose a few brain cells reading some of the posts on here tbh



I really hope Iniesta wins it now.

[Kamikaze692]

This one is from a Facebook page urging us to #Respect Messi coz he got Thiago embossed on his boots, and of his Messi's loyal acolytes had this to say:

Its a respect post because he is the only guy that actually puts his sons name on his boots..if you think ronaldo is great..he never put his name on his boot..you know why?because he only cares about himself..whereas messi knows what is takes to be a real father..i bet you if you were one *bleep* wouldn't have done the same thing...
Yesterday at 8:45am · Like

[bazinga]

It shows it all. One is dedicating his goals to his dead grandmother, and the other .... never mind

The other is dedicating his goal to boobs. I can totally understand that.

[Lord Hades]

It shows it all. One is dedicating his goals to his dead grandmother, and the other .... never mind

The other is dedicating his goal to boobs. I can totally understand that.

these are the sort of comments i dislike . using a particular celebration to paint faulty character sketches

[BarcaKizz]

WARNING: The thread I am going to post is 25 pages long. It is not football related, but a very interesting topic, regardless The thread contains swearing, also. I recommend anyone who has the time to read over 25 pages of discussion to give this thread a look. Also for those who are not feeling interested early in the reading, I recommend trying to reach page 9 (where it gets extremely interesting and hilarious). GOAT THREAD.

Spoiler:

Amazing... Great find Danny.


Simon

[Ganso]

A method the FA should use in order to win world cups.From redcafe by a certain ciderman

What follows is an idea of mine which if adopted by the FA would be guaranteed to win England a world cup.

Basically, the FA need to train a penalty saving specialist who can sit on the bench and be brought on in the final minute or extra time should England be heading towards a shootout situation.

What they need to do is create a shortlist of the very tallest young men in the country, perhaps the top two hundred or something, you know, seven foot tall blokes who're massive lanky bastards, and then invite them all to an evaluation session at Wembley Stadium. The men should be tested for natural aptitude towards saving penalties.

Whoever performs the best should be taken under charge of the FA, given a good wage and begin his training immediately. Training would be full time and restricted to penalty saving and nothing else; eight hours a day training to save penalties, no other goalkeeping or footballing skills are required, just saving penalties all day every day.

After a year or two of hardcore penalty training the result would be that England have this giant seven foot plus penalty saving expert, without doubt the most formidable goalkeeper in the history of the human race in a penalty situation. This player then would then be placed in the England squad to await the fulfillment of his destiny; bring him on with the clock on 120 minutes and there would just not be a chance in hell of England losing a penalty shootout from now until the end of eternity.

We would win untold numbers of world cups with this strategy

[VivaStPauli]

As if England is going to make it into any high-profile penalty shootouts with the shoddy football they're playing... :trollololol:

[Great Leader Sprucenuce]

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,93150.0.html

All 22 pages are f*cking hilarious

[urbaNRoots]

[dostoevsky]

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,93150.0.html

All 22 pages are f*cking hilarious

Don't even know anyone and I'm laughing, that pacman gif and the fistpump cracked me up. Just seeing the progression of their efforts is hilarious.

Photoshopping his face onto Colocinni.

The guy who has spent at least four hours on this.

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