Benteke made Palace sign his brother

...The problem, though, was that there weren’t any obvious fits for a player in Benteke’s circumstances. Presumably he wouldn’t want to go back to the Premier League relegation dogfights he made his name slogging through with Aston Villa, but neither would one of the clubs near or above Liverpool’s status want someone with his specific skillset, either. The trouble would be finding a club that could pay a transfer fee Liverpool would accept (i.e., a really big one), was ambitious enough to pique Benteke’s interest, and would pay him a salary within the same neighborhood as what he had been making at Liverpool, keeping in mind that Benteke could very well decide to bide his time on the Reds’ bench while counting his money until his contract ran out.

Ultimately, Crystal Palace won the sweepstakes and nabbed themselves a very good player, one that they absolutely need if they want to stay in England’s top division. Palace came really close to equalling the fee Liverpool paid for the Belgian the summer prior, sold the player on the idea that they were a club on the rise (much as they did when they convinced Yohan Cabaye to make the similar switch from PSG’s bench to Palace’s starting lineup), and presumably promised to cut him a check every week that would be big enough to keep the whole Benteke family in furs. In a possibly related move, Palace also went and signed his brother.

Now, no one is saying that Jonathan Benteke—the 21-year-old forward who joined the Eagles not long after his big brother did, and who arrived on a free transfer from the Belgian Pro League team who cut him earlier this year—necessarily was a makeweight addition to Christian’s deal in order to ensure his signature. However, that Little Benteke was only rarely roused from Zulte-Waregem’s bench and asked to actually run around the pitch for a few minutes—he made a single start in his 17 appearances for the Belgian club last season in all competitions—and has only five goals in 43 games to show for his entire professional career, it does seem more likely than not that Jonathan is only on Palace’s roster at Christian’s behest.

Take these quotes for example. While Jonathan was signed as a “promising prospect” that Palace would place in their reserve team to “closely monitor” how this “exciting young player” would “develop,” a rash of injuries to real Crystal Palace players has meant that the younger Benteke has actually been included in the club’s matchday roster for their league game this weekend. Here’s how Palace manager Alan Pardew described Jonathan’s journey from Pro League castaway to Premier League contributor:

“He is a young striker with natural talent, and they are not easy to find,” Pardew said. “This one was because of Christian, really. He highlighted him to us.

“We checked him out and liked the look of him. It was not a big fee so he comes here under no pressure. He is not up to his brother’s level yet, he would readily admit that, because Christian is a top-line player. But Jonathan is very enthusiastic and has settled in very well. Hopefully, he might surprise one or two.”

Scoring goals and scouting prospects. Benteke deserves every penny Crystal Palace are paying him.

Spoiler:

Hapless_Hans wrote:not to mention Zidane's 8 sons which have the whole club paralysed

 However, that Little Benteke was only rarely roused from Zulte-Waregem’s bench and asked to actually run around the pitch for a few minutes—he made a single start in his 17 appearances for the Belgian club last season in all competitions—and has only five goals in 43 games to show for his entire professional career

Here’s how Palace manager Alan Pardew described Jonathan’s journey from Pro League castaway to Premier League contributor:

“He is a young striker with natural talent, and they are not easy to find,” Pardew said. “This one was because of Christian, really. He highlighted him to us